UnBearable Conditions

 

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”
“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”
“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
“It’s the same thing,” he said.

From the Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff

Ahhh, the wisdom of the Pooh Bear. I knew I’d end up here eventually… Winnie the Pooh and Piglet and Tigger and Owl and I go way back – back to When We Were Very Young.  Christopher Robin was a lucky guy to grow up with such friends – and in all their adventures, it always seemed that there was a lesson to learn.

I have a hard time learning my lessons sometimes – my alcoholic tendencies towards defiance and defeatism always put big obstacles in my path. My drinking day after day after day led me to a point where I over-reacted to everything, not only making mountains out of molehills, but expecting the worst and usually getting it.

A lot of that vanished when I started doing the steps in earnest, but it still sometimes creeps in to my thoughts – a friend cautioned me recently to never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you – wisdom definitely worthy of dwelling in the House at Pooh Corner. Mind you, that same friend seems to be able to practice unconditional acceptance and yet keep healthy boundaries – it’s such a humbling and calming thing to be told “What will be, will be…”

I’ve so often heard that an expectation is a resentment waiting for a place to happen. As alcoholics, we must rid ourselves of our resentments or we will drink again. Guaranteed. And in Step Eight, we are given a golden opportunity to make a list of those we had harmed, and get ready to make amends – and oddly enough, a lot of those people on that same list are also on my resentment list from my Step Four.

Step Four is essential:

If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot.  We have listed and analyzed our resentments.  We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality.  We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness.  We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people.  We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can.  Pg. 70 of the Big Book

Step Eight is also essential:

Now we need more action, without which we find that “Faith without works is dead.” Let’s look at Steps Eight and Nine.  We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends.  We made it when we took inventory.  We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal.  Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past.  We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.  Pg. 70 of the Big Book

I’m told that if I clean up my side of the street that none of the rest matters. And indeed, with some of the amends I’ve already made, once I make the amends, whether or not I am forgiven, any resentments I may have had with that person just melted away.

I’m really not so great at making a list of all the things I want to accomplish in a day. Ahhh – to live with no expectations of the day – other than to simply know that “something is going to happen exciting today”.

Or to put it another way, the Pooh Way: “What’s for breakfast?” It’s all the same. Que Sera Sera.

Harry